fat fashion, Slice of Life

My Version of March Madness

For three years running, I’ve had my own little version of “March Madness.” In truth, I only know about this alliteration because I lived in Memphis for a long while. Otherwise: “Yay, SPORTSBALL!”

March Madness to me involves loads of shopping. I don’t know why – maybe it’s because spring clothes are the funnest clothes? I’m not one to strictly separate colors by season; I wear most things year round with the weather determining which (or how many) jacket(s) I put on top. Spring is also when a ton of things go on sale, so why not!?

This year, I wanted to stay “good” (especially as the last two weekends I’ve not been good) about the continuing pandemic, and I ordered everything online. Thank Christ I did, too. The past few weeks have been rough at work (can’t stress this enough, can I?) and on the particularly difficult days, magical, happy, little packages found their way to my doorstep. They really turned around my mood those days and gave me something to smile about. Dressing up can honestly be fun, and it took me five years of being on my own, dealing with myself, and learning to love my body to discover just how much fun it can be.


 I’m now staring at 9 boxes of returns, but NO RAGERTS.

I simply bought everything. If I had the slightest thought “that’s cute” or even “huh…” I bought it. I new about half of everything I ordered would be going back, but it’s a small price to pay for the entertainment factor. I’m usually a little more conservative during March Madness, but this year… stir crazy + the world burning down + depression + work nadir + school anxiety = a little overboard.

Fun fact: last year’s obsession was tartan, this year it’s polkadots? ha

I tried two popular online shops I’ve seen around the plus size fashion ethos: Boohoo and Shein.

I didn’t know what all to expect from these two companies (from the UK and China respectively), but I thought I’d give it a whirl and see what all the hype was about. Let me just say, the majority of the clothes I ordered are being returned.

Shein was a mixed bag: plenty of cute designs and patterns, but not so consistent in their sizes. I got everything in 5X, but some dresses were tents and others were pinching. I personally don’t know my measurements, and that’s not Shein’s fault.

Very thin, though. All the clothing is very thin, even the sweaters. But then again, I’m fat, so it should work out. During the returns process, which is user-friendly to their credit, there is a specific defect box for “odor” because that specific issue is that prolific. Just… keep that in mind. There’s no returns on their accessories. I should’ve seen the flag, but… here we are. I threw a lot of it away because it’s not even worth giving away to someone.

Boohoo was just as frustrating, honestly. I kept two sweaters and two belt sets and was completely disappointed with their dresses. Putting things away in my closet, the belts began to fall apart. Who doesn’t adhere the belt loops to their belts? Wtf moment, but nothing superglue can’t save. “boohoo” got its name via a truthful inside joke, but I’m not laughing.

The majority of things I ordered from both these brands went straight into the “returns” pile. Both sites have some super cute styles, but the material itself is questionable. As I’m not a 12-year-old, I don’t fear ripping my clothes or wearing them out, but I do take into consideration quality materials and whether something looks cheap when worn. I’m not desperate for clothes and I don’t want to keep things in my closet simply because it’d be easier than returning things.

New Rule: I’m not buying clothes from anywhere that doesn’t use FAT MODELS to model their fat clothes (and no offense to anyone, but sizes 12-16 aren’t “plus size” to me – ya’ll’re the norm).

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